Year in Review

This morning someone asked me how my year went.

I looked out the window and after a few blocks went by I said “I’m not sure.”

There are years within which nothing happens. Your job stayed the same. Your relationships chugged along. You did not gain any weight. No one died.

I did not have a New Years Resolution last year. And I am not someone to make lists of goals. Here I am, at the end of another year, very unsure what I accomplished and who I am, without anyone to blame but myself, looking longingly at myself as the traffic unclogs.

What is a goal but a clock; a compass. Something to aim for and measure yourself against. And thus a lack of vision begets an opaque reflection and misdirection.

My year in review is a Rubiks Cube. I can get one side right but not without putting another in jeopardy. I lose focus explaining the things I did and did not do.

Here are some things I am proud of in 2024:

I produced and directed this commercial for American Trench. I played in a U.S. Mid-Amateur event. I sold my car and stopped paying car insurance. I went to the movies 13 times. I started a new job. At one point I could bench press my weight.

Here are some things I am not proud of in 2024:

I got fired for making that commercial for American Trench. I shot 84 in that U.S. Mid-Amateur event. I put about $3,000 of work into that car before selling it. I ordered a large popcorn and a large Coke 13 times. I’m not crazy about my new job. I gained weight.

I will be 29 in 41 days. I am as encouraged by my resilience as I am fascinated by the things that have become difficult for me.

I don’t know if I’d bet on me to finish that book I’ve been working on. Or if I’ll get any better at B2B sales. Or if I’ll finally consistently write and post content like I so frequently promise.

But this year I will make a New Years Resolution.

In 2025, I am going to make more promises. To other people and to myself.

I intend on keeping all of them. But I know that I will not.

I promise to make more promises. I will create accountability in my life and build around it. I will lean into the fulfillment and the disappointment of my dreams and the dreams I plant for others. I will inspire them and I will destroy them.

I promise you that it will hurt. And I promise you that it will heal.