There aren’t many people I don’t like. Whether this is a testament to my character or a neon sign that I’m a people pleaser is up for debate. But I’ll share a beer with anybody.
In my life I’ve had the privilege to get to know and understand a variety of men’s brands: sports talk guy; golf guy; zillion light beers guy; fruity cocktail guy; hypebeast “water u wearing” guy; business first guy; there aren’t girls at the pregame guy; i’ve got a kid now guy; whiskey neat guy…. We’ve all known one or two dudes who belong to each of these categories, and we all pass judgement on each of them on our own accord.
I’m bringing to light a type of guy that deserves their next beer bought for them. I’m bringing you… the BOBAB.
What is a BOBAB, you ask. It stands for Boys Of Boys Are Boys. This is the hyper masculine version of “mi casa, su casa,” or “a friend of yours is a friend of mine.” But we all know that those are just phrases and half truths. There are a lot of people that your friends are friends with that you don’t actually feel like being friends with. But BOBAB’s are first ballot guys. They’re universally applicable. Drop them in a dive bar in Oklahoma or a wine lounge in the West Village and they can hold conversation, keep their crude thoughts to themselves, and, most importantly, get along with just about anyone you introduce them to. You’re inviting your top cheese BOBABs to happy hour with your coworkers, dinner with your partner’s besties, the cross town tour when your brother’s in town for the weekend. BOBABs just get it. They might not be franchise quarterbacks but you’re winning a lot of games with them.
For the record, I know a fews GOGAGs as well, but I am not sure my barometer for them is the same. I know what BOBAB’s act like – but GOGAGs, not so much. I guess you could lump everyone together and coin the phrase FOFAFs but that sounds problematic, and I don’t know everything about everyone. I mostly just know how cis gendered white guys act. And I’m a pretty good judge of their character.
BOBAB’s are life savers. BOBAB’s can be trusted. BOBAB’s can take care of themselves. They do not need babysitting at a pregame. They buy their own round of drinks without being reminded. They don’t require saving after they’ve make a weird joke about genitalia in front of a group of women you just met (because they would never make that joke to begin with). They get along with everyone on the bachelor party. They know when it’s time to be fashionably late, and when it’s time to leave.
One of my favorite BOBAB’s among Seam readers is none other than Michael Ennis. Mike is a blue chip BOBAB. Conversationalist, but with no interest in talking politics beyond Trump impressions. A good drinker, but never truly putting you in any big trouble (unless you want trouble). Easy going, but aware that there is such thing as a BMA (best move available) on any given social evening. Introduce this man to just about anyone and he’ll quickly define the term.
Boys of boys are boys. A fact of life. Cheers Mike!